When the root is deep
There is no reason to fear the wind
This has been on my mind. What are the ties that bind? Are we grounded in shared values? Is it our home and community that give us roots? Is it how often you see someone or is it how much you miss them when they are gone? Does a place give you community or a community give you place?
I used to think I had this answered. Most of my family has lived in the same towns for as long as I can remember – a part of the world where the roads have been so deeply traveled that I could drive them blindfolded. I am not tied to that place for any reason other than it is where I grew up. It is a part of my past.
I feel like a cloud moving through the world with ties only to people. We meet in unlikely places like seeds scattered in the wind. Invisible strings keep me tethered to them near and far. I am connected by images and words.
Foolishly I think of the word grounded and how obsolete it sounds in a virtual world and ponder whether to fear the wind.
I was watching a movie recently that featured a story about a young man who could travel through time and the impact this had on his future and his past. The story was sweet enough and the premise enjoyable but it was the message of the film at its end that has stayed with me. As a lesson from his father, the young man experiences each day as it would have been lived with all the stresses and strains each of us face as we navigate the day – running for the bus, grabbing lunch, big presentation. Then, he would live the same day, knowing full well the pace and outcome. The second time he is freer and without worry – fully immersed in the day savoring each moment, each interaction. He repeats this practice until he is so adept at living life fully engaged, that he no longer needs a second crack at the same day. Lovely fantasy full of all sorts of meaning and a very strong message. I clearly know the days that I am living in the moment and enjoying life for all it has to offer. AND I know the days that I am not. How lovely to have more days of the former and fewer of the latter…..
Where there once were three, there is now just one. She has taken to spaces left vacant and routines that were never hers. With each adoption we realize patterns of the other two and it makes us sad. We know the days ahead are fewer than the days behind and with her rests what seems like a lifetime of rubs, and purrs, and moments of comfort and joy. It is hard to imagine a life without her – as it is to imagine a life before them. She is so integral to our well-being. I find now, I stop to linger for each moment she demands.
It hit me hard yesterday as she tried to eat the treat I set before her. Never one to sleep with us, she now climbs upon CF and sleeps in his rhythms for the entire night. We are at one – our own litter of sorts.
I found myself with a couple of hours to spare and decided to watch a favorite movie and lose myself in the romance. The movie ends in Paris on a bridge crossing the Seine. Suddenly I found myself nostalgic at the thought of my favorite city. I went to my files and began pulling up photos when it hit me, this day last year I was walking the city with my camera enjoying the last day of an incredible holiday. CF had stayed behind at the hotel to enjoy our small but lovely room while I went out in the afternoon – an afternoon with heavy clouds just waiting to rain. I walked and walked with the eventuality of ending in the Luxembourg garden – it seems I always start or end there. It is a special place and I have frequented it on each trip to the city of lights.
I have missed it this year – like an old friend – a consequence I plan to remedy next year.
The city has a magnetic pull at me. Much has changed since that visit last year, but my love for the city never falters. I look forward to walking its streets again….. soon, I hope.
No… I didn’t travel to the moon – although the week was so busy it felt like I could have. Instead, the right frontal systems, some scratches on the window and a few ice crystals and suddenly I had a magical view outside my window seat on the plane. The minute I shot the photo there was a mini explosion on the lens and I knew I had caught something unusual. It made the trip back from NY so much more fun.